I think my head just exploded. Again.

Let me back up.

You may or may not be aware of the fact that I may or may not enjoy writing occasionally about those current events that the kids are always so crazy about. Those nutty kids!

So every once in a while (by my best calculations it occurs about every 9 to 11 months ever since 2003), in the 12 to 16 hour news cycle, things on NPR (really the only reliable news source today, sorry) get a little dicey when events in the news of our world start to, how shall I put it (this is crucial how I frame this clause because I just split that infinitive back there)[?], overlap. It started on the drive home last night during All Things Considered and picked back up this A.M. on Early Edition.

I.e., I don't know where to start or how to begin.

Anyways, hold on tight, and keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times.

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Sending The Wrong Message

The Right: If we don't send another 21,000 troops to Iraq, we are essentially telling the troops already there that we've given up, that we don't care. And we're saying the same thing to the insurgents, who, by the way, will be emboldened by our message sending and will crank it up a notch in that thing that's happening over there that's definitely not a civil war.

The Left: If we send another 21,000 troops to Iraq, we are essentially telling the troops already there that they're incompetent losers, that they've failed us and them, that we're losing what is definitely turning into a civil war. Sending more troops will embolden the insurgency because they'll take it to mean that they're winning.

The Middle: Sending another 21,000 troops to Iraq right now is a mixed message. So we probably shouldn't. Or we should. Is there any more Chex Mix™?
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The Prospect of Stability in Iraq: The Long and Difficult Road Ahead (I don't think that subtitle is right, I was running late this morning and had the window open to smoke on the way to the gym)
By The National Intelligence Estimaters
A Book Review

Starts out slow, picks up in the middle, then just kind of falls apart in the end. Too many characters to keep track of whose names look misspelled and are hard to pronounce in my head. The ending was stupid. Doesn't seem based on reality, thus too unrealistic to be believable as fiction. This is America; we don't lose. Ever. Even when we do.
Grade: C-
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•U.S.A. to Israel: Don't Kill Lebanese With Those, Kill Them With These
•[KaBLAM!!!]
•CLUSTER BOMB CONUNDRUM PUTS OLMERT IN HOT SEAT, IDF APOLOGIZES TO SYRIA WITH CRUISE MISSILES

Now that the Palestinians have reverted back to their normal state of existence, i.e., killing each other instead of Jews, this might be a good time to break out our copies of Israel For Dummies 101. If you'd all turn to Chapter 3, "Zion: The One Not Crazy Country In The Region So Let's Just Deal With Them And Let Them Do Whatever They Want To Whomever They Want Because Chances Are Pretty Fucking Good It's Probably In Our Best Interest Anyway". Good. Now let's skip ahead to Chapter 11, "Negotiating With Terrorists Israeli Style", which basically is the scene in The Fifth Element where m'boy Bruce takes out the head Catfish Face Dude with 1 shot. Excellent. Any questions?
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49,000 Is The New 21,000

Taking a Closer Look at the Fine Print: Uhh… did we not mention that the 21,000 troop escala—er, surge, presupposes another 28,000 troops functioning as a strategic support backup for the aforementioned 21,000 troops? We didn't? Are you sure? I was almost certain we spelled that out. Oh, Okay. Well, yeah, we're gonna need another 28,000 troops in addition to the additional 21,000. Deal with it. At least we have a plan, dumbasses.
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Laura Bush On The Today Show

Matt Lauer to Meredith Vieira: Would you please give the First Lady my very best and tell her I said hello?
Meredith: I sure will, Matt!
Matt: Thanks so much! Really!
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•Cold Pricklies Turn To Warm Fuzzies At Hearings
•SENATE SETS NEW CONFIRMATION PER HOUR RECORD, MEMBERS TESTED FOR PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT DRUGS AND SOULS
(•None Found)

That One Congresswoman Person: Have you read the new National Intelligence Estimate with regard to the prospect of stability in Iraq?
Yet Another New General/Secdef/Bureaucrat/Whatever being confirmed basically without incident: Uh… Hmm… No.
TOCP: You haven't? You haven't? Geez!
YANGSBW: No, m'am. I can barely read.
[later]
That Other One Congresswoman Person: Do you promise to keep us informed? Unlike your predecessors? Do you? Cross your heart?
YANGSBW: Yes, I do promise. Unlike my predecessors. Cross my heart. [fingers crossed behind back]
TOOCP: You do? You really promise?
YANGSBW: Yes, I really do. I promise.
[cheering, crying, lots o' hugging, and some "Hip hip hoorays!" and exactly 5 choruses of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"]
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•U.N. Study Claims Climate Change Caused By Humans
•WHITE HOUSE CONCEDES GOLBAL WARMING RESPONSIBLE FOR DEAD CANNIBALISTIC POLAR BEARS DYING, NOT ALIEN SPACE VIRUS OR THE CANCELLATION OF THE OC AS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT

Tony Snow at Whitehouse Press Briefing: Whoops! Our bad!
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Now if y'all will excuse me, I have to get back to my Idol post for Idolatry, the new board dedicated solely to my obsession with that wonderful show with all the singing and hijinx and retards with huge glasses and what not. (Funny!)