Exclamation Points, Some Final Thoughts

I think it's fair to say that over there in the fray, new and old, I've given new life to the vast utility that is the exclamation point by using them so sparsely.

In my reviews of movies I haven't seen, if I'm going to give away a surprise ending or a plot twist that I don't even know about, I'll always put in a !!!Spoiler Alert!!! after I've given away the ending or the plot that I'm totally clueless of. Saves a lot of time, money, and beaucoup hurt feelings.

When I'm about to say something that should be painfully obvious to one of the many insane retards there, I'll start out with a !!!Newsflash!!! to set just the right tone and hit just the right timbre. Very effective, but somewhat harsh, I know. Consider the source.

Another thing I like to do to torture people there is the old slip-in-an-earworm-when-they-least-suspect-it trick. But I, like Xerxes, am a merciful god. So there have been occasions where I've put in a !!!Earworm Warning!!! or 2. I like to think of this use of the points as "the police tape of prose". And I think it's working.

But when you're busy banging your head against a brick wall of total and complete and ubiquitous obtusity (New word!), it's time to bring out the big guns and fight fire with fire. That's right: I'm talking about unleashing the ALLCAPS hounds. Say, "YOU'RE AN IGNORANT DOOFUS!!!" It never works, obviously, because yelling at an idiot is tantamount to barking at a cat, if you get my meaning (I really hope you get my meaning!). I like to think of this tool as "the mutually assured destruction of the written word". Literally, you could say!

Many of my posts require sound effects, like [cricket chirp], [cue s/fx of can of worms opening here], [Wink!]. See that exclamation point after the "Wink" there? Don't you think that gives that tongue-in-cheek color a little hue of playfulness that [wink] just doesn't have? That's what I thought!

I mention the sound effects because when you combine the ALLCAPS and multiple exclamation points for s/fx like [kaBLAAAAAAMO!!!], [kerPLOP!!!] and [kaFWOOOOOSH!!!], it's like you're right there, right there in the middle of all that action, whatever that ends up being. Fun!

I've enjoyed our little discussion on the importance of showing a little bit of restraint when it comes to interjections and what not. An exclamation point is like profanity: The more you use the less subtle their effect. Go now and exclaim no more.

P.S. Great Article!

P.P.S. You, light up my life, you give me hope, to carry on...

P.P.P.S. !!!Earworm Warning!!!

P.P.P.P.S. Oops!